


Boardwalk Boys VS Michael's Cats

by mthevlamister, TheIcyMage



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Boardwalk boys, I promise, I'd like to thank the academy, M/M, Michael Has Cats, Thanks icymage, That's right, The story is pretty good, This fics name?, Three Cis Boys and One Trans Boy, Trans Michael Mell, Worst Title Ever, and my co-author, lesbian cats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-02-15 07:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13025955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthevlamister/pseuds/mthevlamister, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIcyMage/pseuds/TheIcyMage
Summary: Michael wasn't exactly sure when Jake got cats or why Jeremy hated them or why Rich felt the need to hold them too tight, but it happened.Or:It's your boys, writing together again. Bringing back lesbian cats, we're doing it.





	1. Obtaining Cats

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheIcyMage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIcyMage/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael wasn't exactly sure when Jake got cats or why Jeremy hated them or why Rich felt the need to hold them too tight, but it happened.
> 
> Or:
> 
> It's your boys, writing together again. Bringing back lesbian cats, we're doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, brought to you by: M

Michael wasn't exactly sure when Jake got cats or why Jeremy hated them or why Rich felt the need to hold them too tight, but it happened. Their relationship started in college, surprisingly enough. All of them getting in the same college, no idea how or why, but they did. Michael joked it was fate, and he received a year of Jake Dillinger teasing him for that. The four of them decided being roommates was the best option, they were prepared for the worst when they were with each other. The college life was just what everyone needed, especially Michael. If we go back a few years, before the cats, to their first year of college and how everything began to bloom.

"Jeremy, shut Michael up." Jake threw a pillow at the glasses-wearing boy. He was clacking on his keyboard at three in the morning. "Michael what the hell are you doing?"

"Jake, I don't think you understand." Michael looked up, squinting in the dark at Jake. "I have two labs, don't make me fail. I've been working all week, I've had to redo everything because my goddamn professor said it wasn't good last night."

"Babe jutht come to bed." Rich let out a groan, flirting with Michael on and off for awhile now. It was a joke they had together, after Michael's promise Rich would find his someone. "Come cuddle with me, we can thleep together."

"Gross." Jeremy whispered, typing on his computer. "Michael help me with a code--"

"Oh no, you signed up for compsci, you figure it out." Michael hissed, typing with a little more aggression now that Jeremy was also typing.

"Baaaaaaaabe!" Rich whined louder.

"Hey, sweetpea, you should come snuggle me while I type." Michael spared Rich a glance, the dark circles under his eyes visible by the computer light. There was a bit of silence before Rich gave in and clambered over to Michael's bed. Michael wrapped an arm around Rich, kissing his head. "Hi Richard."

"Hi baby." Rich mumbled weakly, exhaustion filling his voice. "Baby put the computer down."

"I need to finish a lab, baby," Michael cooed, "you understand, right?"

"Oh my god, stop being gay!" Jake threw his last pillow at Michael, cursing when he realized he was now pillowless. 

"Jake, you can be gay with me." Jeremy joked, looking at the jock. He instantly regretted making the joke as his anxiety kicked in. "That was a bad joke, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made that--"

"You know what? I am going to be gay with you, move over. I'm cuddling the anxiety out of you, you're going to be anxiety-free." Jake stood up, walked over, and hugged Jeremy. "Heeeeeeaaaaaaaaal."

"You're such a dork!" Jeremy said with a laugh. "Jake!"

"We're all queer down here." Michael said in his best Mad Hatter voice, receiving a pillow thrown at his head from Jake.

"Dude that was my pillow!" Jeremy hit Jake's arm. "You asshole!"

"He's being a geek, I need to defend myself." Jake defended himself from Jeremy's wrath. He rubbed Jeremy's side, smiling. "Am I gaying away health issues?"

"I don't know, man. Kisses are much appreciated on the head, that's extra gay." Jeremy whispered, looking up at Jake. After their senior year Christine discovered she was aromantic and apologized to Jeremy many times. He was heartbroken, yeah, but they were still friends, and he totally understood. Jeremy grew up more than when he had a SQUIP. Jeremy had time to explore his sexuality, and his first guy crush was Jake Dillinger. He also discovered something else, "I love kisses."

"Is that too gay for the Jake Dillinger?" Michael asked, looking over. "I offer kisses too."

"It's not too gay, I'll kiss Jeremy." Jake said quickly, trying to prove nothing was 'too anything' for him. "I'll kiss him on his goddamn mouth."

"Wait Jake--" Jeremy was cut off.

"Bet you won't make out with him." Michael hissed.

"I will, dammit."

"Guyth, you're taking thith a bit too far--" Rich tried to enter the conversation.

"I bet you don't have the guts to make out with Richie."

"I will! Richard and I will so make out!"

"Rich, they're ignoring us."

"I know, Jeremy, I know."

"Hey Rich?"

"Yeth Jeremy?"

"Want to make out?"

Rich stared at Jeremy as their two roomies argued about having the guts to kiss their cuddle buddies. It made them both laugh looking so serious, kissing? Ha! Don't get them started on--oh, nevermind. When did Jeremy and Rich even get to each other--you know what? Nevermind! Michael and Jake paused their debate to see their cuddle buddies kissing each other with quite a bit of passion. Michael let out a small whistle before going back to his work, letting the two men kiss all they want. Jake, feeling slightly upset he wasn't the one being kissed, moved next to Michael. He pecked Michael on the cheek, something he wasn't sure why he was doing it, but he did. 

That was the night--or morning--everyone hooked up, becoming boyfriends. It was a miracle they all stayed together throughout college, especially with their own problems. Every now and then Michael's anxiety would reach its peak, causing him to blow up if anyone said a word to him. Jake had to work on his pressure of being the best, allowing himself to be out of the closet to everyone. Rich worked on his depression a lot, but it took awhile for the three other men to hear his natural laugh. Jeremy always needed to convince himself he was worth more than what he thought about himself. 

Also, they had to deal with stereotyping. Ironically enough, Michael got to hear most of the stereotypes about his boyfriend. His most memorable moment was when he was in a library, studying for his finals, and some dude walked over and talked to him in an aggressive manner. 

It was this, basically.

"So you're dating three guys?" Dude #2732 asked.

"Uh, yeah. It's pretty lit, is that uncool now? Oh god I hope so." Michael licked his thumb, turning the page of his textbook.

"But one's bi, one's pan, and one's poly?"

"Uh, yeah."

"So they're gonna cheat on you, right?"

"What? No--"

"They're more likely to cheat!"

Dude #2732 went home with a bloody nose that day. Michael was proud of his actions, even if he got chewed out by Jeremy.

As the men grew and graduated college they all sought different professions. Michael became a youtuber; the channel used to belong to him and Jeremy but they changed the name once Michael became brave to make his own videos and ran the whole channel himself. Jeremy became a house-boyfriend ("I'm looking for the right job--stop calling me your wife Michael!") Rich became a police officer after many years of training in the academy, and Jake worked at an animal shelter. That's probably why there were cats, Jake said something about two kittens being euthanized or something, so he had to save them. Unsure of where to send them, as they all lived in the same house at this point, Jake put down Michael's address for the place. Michael found out when someone came by while Jake and Rich were working and Jeremy was getting groceries. They gave him the cats, both wearing little name tags. Fireball and Dragon, beautiful kittens that were now curled in his lap. As he pet them he contemplated finding them a more suitable home. Michael decided otherwise when he tried to remove the cats from his lap, as they dug their nails into his sweatshirt and refused to let go.

Michael texted his boyfriends pictures of the cats hanging on for dear life as he was standing, thinking only one thought.

_I'm now a father._


	2. Hating Cats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMSORRYOHGOD  
> Thanks for waiting, I'm so sorry.  
> I, uh, started a TAZ one if you wanted to. . . I don't know. . . checkitoutbecauseit'safunone.

It had gone on for too long. 

Jeremy hated cats, Rich didn't enjoy  _these_ cats, and Jake was just plain jealous over cats.

It kind of sucked majorly.

"Aww, who's my little baby? Who are my lovely, lovely kittens? You two are--ow! Claws, Dragon, watch the claws!" Michael tried to redirect the cats that were climbing on his shoulders. Dragon was batting at Michael's face, meowing quite loudly. Fireball began to purr as Michael pet her. "Dragon act like your fellow cat, I'd say sister but I saw you two cuddling and kissing each other. You have a crush--ow! You can't even understand me! Jer, is my ear bleeding?"

Jeremy took a huge breath, covering his lower half of his face, and stared. There was a small scratch on Michael's ear, a little droplet of blood was forming there. "She was not happy you know about her relationship. There's a small bit of blood, want me to clean it off?"

"Yeah, help me out. I think cuddles and a wet napkin would be helpful." Michael said back, blowing a kiss. Jeremy flinched when Fireball hissed at him; he didn't know if cats could be jealous, but it seemed like Fireball was totally jealous of Jeremy getting a kiss. 

Jeremy groaned and left to get the wet napkin, as he walked to the bathroom he made eye contact with Rich. There was a mutual look of hatred of these. . . furry little demons that they both hated so much. Jeremy opened the bathroom door, making the big mistake of not knocking and came face to face with a naked (except for a towel around his waist) Jake. There was just silence as Jeremy patted Jake's chest, walking behind him to the sink. Jeremy began to whistle, wetting a paper towel. Jake cleared his throat, which only made Jeremy glance up for a second before wringing out the object in his hands. Jake groaned before speaking, "Jeremy leave the room so I can get dressed!"

"Jake, honey, I've seen you naked many-a-times. I'm one hundred percent only here to get something for Michael. I'm only a little hot for you, maybe a bit. You know what? Don't take the towel off until I leave. I may be twenty seven but I have the hormones of junior me, I need to see why my sex drive is so high, thanks for reminding me. I love you honey!" Jeremy kissed Jake's cheek, making the stronger of the two smile a boat load more than he was already.

"I love you too, now shoo." Jake kissed Jeremy's head.

Jeremy smiled, trotting out and over to Michael. "Hold still Michael." Jeremy wiped his ear, narrowly avoiding the claws of the cats. "Tell your cats to stand down dammit!"

"They don't listen to me, blame Jake for adopting them!" Michael moved his cats away from Jeremy. "He took them in! They just happen to love me more than any of you!"

"Why though?" Jeremy kissed Michael's ear, smiling a bit at the removal of the cats. 

"Because I'm a better father--"

"Take that back!" Rich pointed at Michael from the kitchen table. He was eating a bowl of Honeycombs, something Jake said was too sugary for him, but he ate anyway. "I'm a great father, you're a liar dammit!"

"I'm not lying when our kids love me more than they'll ever love you." Michael stuck his chin up, putting the cats on his lap. Fireball and Dragon apparently enjoyed this action, curling up almost instantly and meowing at Michael in hopes of pets. "Aww, do my babies want attention?" Michael increased the attention given to his cats. "Awwwww!"

"Okay, that is enough." Jake said as he walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed. "Why do you love them more than you love us?"

"I don't--" Michael was lying. "--I just think they need more attention than humans, they're cats! I spend all day with them, they know me and Jer the most."

"So why don't they get along with Jeremy?"

"I hate cats." Jeremy answered, shrugging. "Lil bit allergic, actually."

"They need to be more friendly." Rich huffed from his spot, glaring at the cats as they batted Michael's hand. His glare grew as Dragon let out a soft meowl, not enjoying the fact Michael was talking to the house people instead of baby talking them. "Thee?! They hate uth! They totally fucking hate uth!"

"You just need to cuddle with them, they enjoy cuddles. You need to give head kisses too, they're suckers for head kisses. I want you all to get along, you're all very important to me. I don't like all the fighting, can't we just be friends?" Michael pouted, and it was almost cute until the other three realized he was talking about cats. Not people, but  _cats_!

"Michael you are literally the worst." Jeremy said, frowning. "Those cats don't understand you! They don't speak English!"

Michael blinked, looking both cats in the eyes. It was odd to everyone except Michael, who was having a long conversation with his cats with only their eyes. The tension in the room grew as Michael nodded at nothing, and one of the cats meowed at him. There was another minute of silence until Fireball was scooped up by Rich and hugged close. Rich looked at Michael, glaring. "Ith thith what you wanted? We're cuddling!"

"It is exactly what I wanted, thank you Richard." Michael said sweetly as Fireball hissed and swiped at Rich's arm. "She apparently does not want that, sorry."

"I will make her love me dammit." Rich hissed, sitting next to Michael so both cats could be together. "Thith ith going to work, they will love their father."

"They have four fathers." Michael pointed out, scratching the captive kitty under the chin. "Don't you?"

"I'm going to bed, make your own dinner assholes." Jeremy grumbled, heading off to their shared room. They had separate beds, but usually that lasted four minutes until everyone crowded on one bed. No matter how annoyed Jeremy was tonight would be no different.

Plus, cuddling made Michael feel better about the body he was in.

"So. . . Indian takeout?" Jake asked, smiling.

"IF YOU DON'T GET ME BIRYANI I WILL MURDER YOU ALL!" Jeremy called from the other room, his voice muffled from blankets.

"Thought you were going to bed!" Michael called back, knowing that was probably a mistake. Jeremy didn't respond so Michael assumed he was safe from the wrath of a very, very hungry and annoyed Jeremiah Heere.

He thought wrong.

But for now they were safe, waiting for the delivery of food, and playing with the two kittens that kept hissing at Rich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo, friendly demiboy here to tell you I passed my CPR course and also that I haven't gone on a date with my gf since summer but our anniversary was last weekend and I love her more than anything.


	3. Is It Self Harm If A Cat Did It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Christine notices some scars on Rich and gets understandably worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There waaas another chapter I had been working on. I will get to finishing that later. Hope you enjoy.  
> -Icy

Somehow, Christine had convinced her friends to participate in the local theater. Only she and ocasionally Jeremy would actually audition to play any part, yet she still got all eight of them to meet for set construction. It was at one such set construction that Rich's carring a plank of wood had drawn Christine's attention to the lines of scratches peppering both of her friend's arms. When he sat down for a break, she leaned closer to inspect the baren arms.

"Hey, Chrithy? You looking for thomething? I can fleth if you want." Rich joked when he felt her breath on his neck. 

She blinked before snorting at the boy's exaggerated presentation of his "gun thow."

"Sorry. Right. Personal space," Christine gave her head a light bumbing with her right fist. Before the concern could appear on Rich, she burted out, "Are you cutting yourself? Because you know we are all here for you and there are other ways to cope or get that sensation or whatever!"

Now the lines of confusion and concern wrinkled Rich's features. "What? No. I'm not...no." He looked at the lines on his arms and ran his finger over something invisible.

Christine made a mental note to approach the subject more gently later...or to avoid it...or to look up how to breach such a subject and stress out about it for a month before giving up. 

"Sorry," She finally settled on. "I guess I jumped to conclusions." She marked this with an actual jump, "It's just...I saw a lot of scratches and scars and I heard in high school...andmaybereadinaHarryPotterfanfiction that some people with depression resort to...cutting and I remember you saying that you were depressed before and I just..."

"It's okay," Rich did something between a cough and a laugh, "I get it. Thethe tharth aren't from any bladeth or anything like that."

"Then where did you get all of them? Most of those scratches look too healed to be from any accidental stage setup scuffs."

Rich's answer was a relinquished admittance of his futile persistence. It was a pledge that, while he had failed to reach his goal, he would not give up. It was a single word that said everything of his struggles and yet not enough about the perils he and his adversaries had faced. "Catth."

Christine, who had countless times tried to pet Chloe's reluctant fat, fluffy, and brown-coated Crookshanks gave a solum, "Ah," in understanding. 

Later that day, she would drive to Chloe's house with Brooke and spend a good part of the night chasing down the finicky feline in between episodes of Bewitched. That night, she would successfully capture the poor animal and, in her words, "Love it into submission." She would be woken after about an hour and forty five minutes of sleep to find that the cat had found comfort in her lap and had gotten brown fur all over her black leggings. The next time she would visit, she would tackle the cat and it would kick its way out of her arms.

Meanwhile, Rich would return home exhausted. In a jealous and sleepy act, he would try to crawl into Michael’s lap, which would make Fireball run away in surprise and would make Michael call after her. Michael would then be prevented from going after the cat by rich nuzzling him. Michael would roll off the couch and complain that Rich stank with sweat. Rich would fall into an awkward position and find Dragon smelling his face. Rather than hold out his hand to see if the cat would sniff that as well, Rich tried to catch the cat in a tackle roll. When the attempt yielded new scratches and a little blood, Rich would reluctantly head to the bathroom for a shower. He would toss his clothes over the shower without bothering to close the door. Tonight was saved for the four boys playing video games. No visitors that would complain about seeing anything. He would come out of the shower and find his pile of dirty clothes taken over by two fluffy lumps. When he would reach for the clean clothes pile, one paw would slam down on his shirt. He would eventually go for pretending to grab the cats, tricking them into retreating and getting his dry clothes slightly wet in the process.

Even later, Michael would see the damage the cats did to Rich and would make a comment that would lead to what would be called The Alligator Clip Incident. That, however, is a story for another time.

  
  



End file.
